Journal 1
If I could invite David Foster Wallace into the discussion in our classroom, I would have a few questions for him; some of which include what annoyed me about his essay, but also certain topics that he covered within the essay. The first question I would ask is why Wallace did not openly express an opinion on animal cruelty during the essay. I understand that he wanted to give multiple points of view and evidence, but it bothered me that he did not express his opinion directly. That being said, I was able to detect what I believe to be some bias toward empathy for the lobsters. I would then ask for his specific opinion. Another question that I have for Wallace would include wondering what his specific thoughts were on how crowded the festival was, and how unsanitary it may have been. I know that he expressed his observation of kids running and people lined up eating messy lobsters. In his essay, Wallace mentioned the “grossly inadequate Port-A-San facilities” and I would want him to describe them to me.
I found it very interesting how Wallace used the Maine Lobster Festival to talk about and connect to other issues involving things like ethics and philosophy behind those ethics. This made me think about how there are not many if any limits to a written discussion. This is because we are able to use written discussion to debate and use evidence from the specific issue and others, thus relating them to each other. When talking about larger issues, this essay makes me think strongly about the issue of animal cruelty. In many parts of the essay, Wallace brings up whether or not it is unethical to boil lobsters alive. One example that hit home with me was where Wallace compared slaughtering cattle in front of a group of people in the way that lobsters are killed in front of a group of people at the Maine Lobster Festival. I would anticipate my audience’s questions when I write by knowing the issues that I cover with my writing. I would expect my audience to ask my opinions on animal cruelty, Wallace’s essay, and why I asked the questions that I asked.
Journal 2
During the majority of my High School career, I did not have to do very much drafting and revising of my essays. This changed my senior year, where I took an English class called College Composition. This class was strictly a writing class and required me to make multiple revisions on each of my essays. Prior to my senior year, I was able to wait until a day or two before the due date of an essay to start writing. Once I was finished rushing through my essay, all I did to revise was make sure my spelling was correct and fix any glaringly obvious grammar and punctuation mistakes. I was never forced out of this habit because I always received an A or B on my sloppy essays. I was in for a rude awakening in College Composition, where I thought I could go through the same routine, but figured out that I would receive a failing grade if I did not submit at least three drafts of my essay prior to the final draft.
Each time I handed in a draft of one of my essays to my teacher, she would make comments on it and make marks to show spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors. This helped me especially at the beginning of the class because I did not know how to go about editing my essays properly. Once I got my drafts back with edit marks, I would start by correcting any spelling, grammar, and or punctuation mistakes. After making these corrections, I would look into my sentence structure and make sure my sentences sounded correct. Once these corrections were complete, I would assess the layout of my essay. If necessary, I would alter the structure of my paragraphs and even move paragraphs around. If I did this, it was usually because my teacher suggested that I do so.
Journal #3
Tanner McDougal
In David Foster Wallace’s essay, Consider The Lobster, he discusses the Maine Lobster Festival and how it might be inhumane to boil lobsters alive. In the essay, he gives both points of view; how some believe it is not ethical while some do. In his essay, Wallace uses a quote that explains how lobsters’ nervous systems lack an ability to sense pain. Wallace does not introduce the quote very well in my opinion. I feel this way because just prior to using the quote, he was explaining how PETA members were boycotting the lobster fest. He did not do a very good job of leading the reader into his quote. Although the introduction to the quote was sloppy, Wallace does a very good job explaining the quote’s relevance to the subject afterward. He does this by explaining where the quote came from and other information that is concerned with the quote. Wallace uses another full paragraph to explain the quote, which to me is important as a reader because it allows me to understand the meaning of the quote as it relates to Wallace’s point. Based on what I have read in the chapter, I would suggest that Wallace lead into the quote a little bit better. More specifically, do not just drop the quote at the end of a paragraph that explains PETA protestors. He should have started a new paragraph and then used the quote.
I quoted many sources last school year when writing essays. I believe that I did a very good job of it as well. I feel this way because I was able to lead into the quote with my own personal opinion and information on the topic. Then afterward, I explained what the quote meant to me and then used it to argue my claim. The only thing that I believe I could have done better was use parts of the quote in my analysis of the quote. The chapter explained how this can be very effective with getting the reader to truly understand the point that the writer is trying to explain.
Journal #4
Tanner McDougal
Professor Miller
English Composition
9/15/19
I found Lizzie Widdicombe’s essay regarding Rob Rhinehart’s creation of Soylent to be very interesting. The idea of completely switching one’s eating habits to something like Soylent is tough to grasp, but there are apparent pros to this lifestyle choice. One passage from Whittecombe’s essay that I find interesting is when Rhinehart explains how you need nutrients from food, but not food itself. I think I could use this in my essay because it shows the beginning of Rhinehart’s opinion on a sort of synthetic food. I think I could use this to show how Rhinehart’s opinion is a bit out there, but could make sense to some. I feel that Rhinehart may have some sort of underlying mental health issue. I feel this way because I have not met a single person who thinks that way about nutrients. A second passage that I found to be interesting was Rhinehart’s blog, “How I Stopped Eating Food”. I think that this passage could help to benefit my essay because it gives lots of information about Rhinehart’s opinion on Soylent and the benefits of Soylent itself. In the passage, Rhinehart described the “chemical potion” as “delicious”. This could be another argument in of itself about how we would or should define the word delicious as it relates to food and nutrition. The passage also had a sales tone to it. Rhinehart mentioned an increase in his overall health and he felt like “the six million dollar man”. I found this interesting because I would feel zero attraction to this product even with the pros mentioned, but once Rhinehart began selling the Soylent, it became very popular. A third passage from Whittecombe’s essay that I found to be very interesting was when Whittecombe described Rhinehart as “healthy-looking”. The passage went on to mention how Rhinehart drank Soylent for ninety percent of his meals. I think that I could use this in an argument because before, Rhinehart said how he was living exclusively on Soylent, not ninety percent of the time.
Journal #5
Tanner McDougal
I found many parts of “Entering the Conversation” to be very interesting and it could be very beneficial to my writing. The first important thing to note was how the book kept coming back to explaining templates for academic writing. This interested me partly because of how often this was brought up during the reading. The author wanted to emphasize this because he or she felt that these templates are a way to sound not as generic and boring in an argument. Also, the templates are a way to make sure you are pointing out the other side’s view in your own argument. The author references one of Martin Luther King’s speeches and mentioned how it could be made into a play because of how well he includes the other side’s viewpoints. I also found it interesting how the reading was able to prove wrong the idea that using a template would make people “writing robots”. Another thing that I found interesting from the reading was how it was explained that academic writing is argumentative writing. I never thought of it this way, but after I thought about it, I realized that it was true. All times when you write, you are arguing something to some degree. I also liked how you can disagree but also agree at the same time by saying how both ideas could be correct. I liked this because all argumentative writing that I have done and witnessed was someone trying to bash another person’s position or point of view on a certain topic. Along with these examples, I found the “as opposed-to-what factor” interesting. This is because it helps to keep the writer on track to making sure he or she is addressing all components to making a successful argument. It does this by making sure the author checks to see if his or her writing shows anyone disputing the argument, said person’s argument, and why the writer is saying this. This is a framework that one could use to make sure their writing is addressing all aspects needed to make a strong argument.
Journal #6
Peer review slides can be found on peer review menu page.
Journal #7
Link to podcast: https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-tnbgz-c248f8#.XZp2hTZOLmo.email
Tanner McDougal
Journal 8
I found it helpful that the author explains how starting your essay or argument with the other point of view before your own is an effective way to argue your own point of view on the subject. This is because you can then show how the opposing point of view is incorrect, and then drive home your own viewpoint to your audience or readers. I also found the templates for introducing what “they say” helpful. This is because they could help me to form the topic sentence of a paragraph in an argumentative essay. The specific templates were also helpful to show me how I can use different ones in different scenarios or essays that have different topics. I also liked these because they give options on certain ways to open up topic sentences. This is important so the writer is not using the same style throughout the entire essay. I found it interesting the way the book describes how to keep what “they say” in mind while writing your own evidence that supports your claim about what ”they say”. This is because it helps the reader to “follow your response” (Berkenstein, Graff 27). I think the “return sentences” are helpful and an effect thing to use in an essay. I feel this way because these return sentences help to remind the reader of the opposing argument. This sets up the writer for a great place to show how the opposing viewpoint is incorrect, while his or hers is correct.
Journal 9
I was the contributor.
Journal 10
Tanner McDougal
I think my favorite narrative was the first about making crepes in a chemistry lab. I liked how the writer described it as being odd to make a meal using a Bunsen burner in a lab, because I know that I would feel the exact same way doing this in my chemistry lab. I also liked the pumpkin pudding narrative. I liked this because it shows how you should be grateful for what you have, since the person who wrote this clearly did not appreciate this meal that her mother made for her. I would like to know what the writer’s actual thoughts were on the dish. I feel this way because at points it sounds like she doesn’t like it, but then later on she wants to try to make it again. I also liked the story about shared sardines on a hike. I feel like I enjoyed this because it gave me an example of someone trying new foods. I hate trying new food, so I always find it interesting hearing about or watching other people try new food. I enjoyed the picture of the watermelon boar with shrimp. I like how the picture allows me to actually see it, because I would wonder what this actually looked like had the picture not been there. Also, the quality of the photo shows the time in which the picture was taken. I feel like this shows a memory, which is very important when it comes to the significance of some foods.
Tanner McDougal
Journal 11
The first passage that I found to be important was in the first paragraph of page two. I have a complicated response. In this passage it is explained that on Julia Child’s cooking show, there was a severe lack of editing, which resulted in long periods of waiting for the person watching the show. In the passage, Pollan said how “It all felt more like life than TV…” I think that this passage is important mainly because it shows a shift between past and modern television. This is due to the lack of editing in Child’s show. Later on in the article, it was explained how current cooking shows show more eating or “athletic cooking” instead of the type of cooking where one follows a recipe. I think that this is important in showing a culture change around food because people used to be interested in actually making food, where now we are more interested in the finished product and how it tastes. I believe that this is due to us becoming more of a consumer culture, where we have many things that are at our fingertips, where only about a generation ago, people were much more dependant on themselves and needed the cooking skills.
The second passage that I found to be important in Pollan’s article was in the second paragraph of page seven. I agree, but also have a somewhat complicated response. In this passage, in mentions a man named Harry Balzer who draws the line between what is cooking and what is not. He explained how following a recipe is actually cooking, whereas heating something up and eating it is not considered cooking. I feel that this was important to Pollan’s article because it sort of clears up any confusion regarding the definition of cooking. The reader is then able to move forward in the article without questioning where we draw the line. I also found this interesting because I witness a lot of people who consider heating something up as cooking. I think this is another of many examples in showing a change of culture, where we are able to save lots of time by heating up a pre-cooked meal instead of actually making it ourselves.
The third passage that I found to be important to Pollan’s article is in paragraph two of page eighteen. Unfortunately, I disagree with this passage. It is explained in the passage that grilling can be related to outdoor activities like “camping, gardening, and hunting and riding on horseback” because all of these activities remind us of our “distant origins”. I disagree with this because I do not believe that we enjoy grilling because we want to re-enact cooking raw meat over a fire. Many of us enjoy grilling because of the experience that is involved with grilling. Usually, we are with a small or large group of family and or friends. This makes for an experience that is fun and is a gateway to many memories, which is the true reason as to why we enjoy grilling food. This also ties back to the importance of food in being more than just a supplement of nutrients. Many times we eat with others and it makes for a social experience that we enjoy.
Tanner McDougal
Journal 12
The first thing that I found to be helpful in the chapter was deciphering the conversation. This allowed me to think of how the author of a passage is not only explaining what they believe, but also what one or many others believe. This can be very helpful when doing a critical analysis of writing because the reader is able to pick up on all opposing arguments, thus forming a more educated opinion on the topic. Another thing that I found to be interesting in the chapter was when “they say” is unstated. The book then went on to explain how a reader can use clues in the text to be able to make an educated guess on what the actual “they say” is. Also, sometimes the author’s own thesis is not clear, so the reader must dive into the text and use similar clues to find out what the actual thesis is, along with the supplemental information. Another piece of this text that I found to be both interesting and helpful was with the Judith Butler example and “reading particularly challenging texts”. This is because the first time I read Butler’s three sentences, I was completely lost on what she was trying to say. I believe that this is mainly due to the complicated vocabulary that she used. However, the text showed ways of getting around this by putting the text into my own words that I can understand more easily. This helped me to figure out what exactly Butler was trying to say.
Tanner McDougal
Journal 13
For the most previous draft, I made a few revisions that I believe helped to show what I was trying to prove with my essay. Most of these came after my session with Sinead, as she gave many helpful tips that I used afterward. The first major revision that I did was I added a small body paragraph as a way to transition my thoughts from the previous paragraph to the one that followed it. I did this by analyzing the previous paragraph and then giving more of my own opinion on the topic based on the previous quotes. I think that this helped because it gives the reader a more clear understanding of what I as the writer am trying to show. It is a way of giving more of an analysis on the ideas presented while also allowing the reader to have a further understanding of the points from the prior paragraph. The second significant major revision that I made was I adjusted my thesis. When I did this, I tried to make the thesis more connected to the ideas that I had written down in my essay already. To do this, I included my overall points so that the reader would know what I was trying to prove so that it would make the analysis of my points easier to understand and digest. I did this because my original thesis did not really touch on my exact main points, and it was very broad and somewhat misleading.
Tanner McDougal
Journal 14
After listening to the podcast, many thoughts came to mind about how we care for the dead. Most of which are honestly thoughts of disgust and not really knowing what stance on this I should be taking. Nevertheless, I found many parts of the podcast that caught my attention and made me more interested to listen. The first of which was when Doughty mentioned that she is normal covered in the ashes of human remains at work. From that moment on, I realized that it must take an extremely special person to be able to do the work of a mortician because the thought of being covered in human remains absolutely disgusted me. I did notice that many of Doughty’s views were very different from my own to say the least. The first of which being when she mentioned something along the lines of “You don’t really know that you are going to die unless you see a dead body.” I thought that was very odd because I and I believe all other people are very aware of the fact that we are mortal. Another couple of things that I found odd about Doughty was when she said “Death in its natural state can be very beautiful” and she said that people should take care of the dead body of a relative so that they can “see the life leave them”. First of all, beautiful is not exactly the adjective that comes to mind when I think of death in any form. Second, I do not believe very many people want to “see the life leave” their dead relative. I think that any sane person wants their last memories of their relative to be when they were full of life; not a decomposing corpse.
Tanner McDougal
Journal 15
Looking back on my process for project 1 compared to project 2, I am very pleased with my progress for many reasons. The first thing that I think helped my process in project 2 was the peer review. I think this peer review was much more helpful because my new meers were more experienced with critical peer review and knew what to look for, which resulted in me receiving more useful feedback. I was then able to take this feedback and decide what I should do to better my essay. Along with the peer review I met with Sinead twice, which I believe was even more effective than the peer review. Sinead was able to read my essay and give me specific examples of what might be a better idea to do in certain areas of concern. She also did a great job of addressing any prior questions that I came to her with to the meeting. As a result of these suggestions, I was able to have an easier job make more drafts of my essay because I spent less time trying to figure out what exactly to revise. I also think that my essay flowed much better this time because I went through multiple attempts of trying to organize my ideas in an essay format.
Tanner McDougal
Journal 16
After reading “What the Crow Knows”, many curiosities and interests came to mind. The first of which was at the very beginning when the bird hospital was introduced along with Jainism. I have never heard of the Jains, so I was interested to become more familiar with their values. The essay explained then how the Jains have no tolerance for violence against humans and animals. I found it interesting how the Jains went to some pretty high extremes in an attempt to not disturb any living things. For example, how they do not drive cars and do not eat root vegetables. Another part of this essay that I found to be interesting was the debate over whether or not animals are truly conscious, and if so, which ones. The essay went on to give multiple examples of certain people who have their own opinions and certain research that has gone into the subject. I found it interesting how we are mostly in the dark in regards to knowing what animals are conscious. One specific example that surprised me was the example with the magpie. The magpie was able to pass what is known as the mirror test. The magpie checked its neck after looking in the mirror and seeing a dot on it. This means that the magpie recognized that something was not right about its neck and was able to then check itself. I think that this could show some proof of consciousness of this bird. I also noticed that the author kept re-stating himself and kept adding in at what point we separated evolutionarily from certain animals. I am not sure why he did this, but I just noticed it and found it to be interesting.
Tanner McDougal
Journal 17
In Herzog’s essay, he addresses many examples of animal cruelty and moral controversies on how we treat animals and our actions toward them. One passage that I found very interesting and important to Herzog’s point is in the first and second paragraph on the first page of Herzog’s essay. Here it explains how Judith Black considered herself a vegetarian, while eating fish because she believed fish did not count as animals. After some convincing, she finally began to eat all types of meat after years of believing in being a vegetarian. I found it quite surprising how someone could just abandon their values so quickly. I think this example is important because it shows how many people are confused on how we should think of animals regarding our uses for them, and if we should even use them at all. The second passage that I found to be important was in the second paragraph of page two. Here it explained how a man named Jim Thompson worked in a laboratory where he would have to dispatch baby chickens. However, he quit this job after only reading one article about the advocating of animal rights. How can someone quit their job after reading one article that mentions how we should not be cruel to animals? I think this example shows how many people think of animals in a way similar to the way they think of humans, just some of our values allow us to experiment on them and eat them. This way of thinking is what I believe Herzog was getting at when he brought up this example of someone being very willing to quit their job after being reminded of “The Animals’ Agenda”. The third passage that I found to be important was in the second and third paragraph of the fourth page of the essay. This example showed how cats consume a monumentally larger amount of flesh than snakes, yet cats are thought to be a much more morally just animal to keep than a snake. I think this is important to Herzog’s point because it shows the way in which many people think toward which animals are in a way worse than others. We think of certain animals as worse than others without even taking into account that pet’s impact on the lives of other animals.
Tanner McDougal
Journal 18
After reading David Foster Wallace’s essay for the second time along with my first journal entry, the first thing that came to mind was how little time I spent writing about actual animal cruelty. When I re-read my journal, most of what I wrote about included small details that were almost, if not completely irrelevant to Wallace’s point. I was more focussed on statistics and the lack of sanitation at the lobster festival rather than actually paying attention to the real animal cruelty that may or may not have been going on. That being said, I feel that now that I have read this piece for the second time, I feel that I am what I would describe to be as more cautious towards the animal cruelty that was going on in the essay. When I say more cautious, I mean that I paid much more attention to the way in which Wallace described different examples of what could be considered cruelty against the lobsters. These examples included how lobsters try to escape the pot and how people would not want to watch a large number of cattle be slaughtered before their eyes. However, I am still not completely sold on this being actual animal cruelty. I feel this way because I still do not hold lobsters as equal to mammals. As stated in paragraph five of page 499, “lobsters are basically giant seas insects.” Wallace went on to explain the taxonomy of these “sea insects” and forced me to realize what they actually are. Based on this specific taxonomy, lobsters are truly related to insects, which taints my view of them being worthy of humans not harming.
Tanner McDougal
Journal 19
After reading “Planting a Naysayer in Your Text” the most interesting thing that I observed was the overarching point. I liked how the chapter went into explaining why it is almost if not completely essential to use the argument of the other side to help enhance your own work. The chapter described this as away to boot your credibility and make the reader feel that you are being honest because you are not being close-minded, and are honestly taking into consideration what the other side of the argument is saying. The chapter gave multiple examples of this in action, and they helped me to understand how I can implement this into my own work. A more specific thing that I found to be helpful was the outlines. More specifically, the “Templates For Naming Your Naysayers”. I liked these outlines because they show how a writer can bring in specific groups with counter arguments to your claim. I think that this is important because bringing in specific naysayers into an argument makes it more fair while also giving the opportunity to show how to effectively counter your naysayer’s argument. Another thing that I found to be interesting in this text was how it was explained that it is alright to have the naysayer’s argument change your mind in your essay. I found this interesting because you are supposed to be trying to prove how that is wrong, yet it is acceptable in an academic essay to “stretch the limits of your thinking”. I think that this is true because it helps to promote keeping an open mind.
Journal 20
Tanner McDougal
Journal 20
The beginning of this project was quite a bit of a challenge for me. I say this for two reasons. The first being how I had a difficult time figuring out what I wanted to include in my essay due to issues interpreting the rubric and what was expected of me. The second reason was that I had a difficult time finding which pieces of writing I wanted to use along with Wallace’s essay in my writing. Once I figured out these issues, I was able to start writing. For a while I struggled with my thesis and I plan on revising it again as I create more of my essay. I have been doing most of my writing in my room, which is where I normally write. As for resources that I have used, I visited with our writing fellow, Sinead. She was very helpful in pointing me in the right direction in terms of my thesis and what direction I want to take my essay. She was also very helpful with sentence level errors. She read over what I had from start to finish and pointed out any errors that were there. Fortunately, there were not too many.
Overall, I believe that my process for paper three has been very different from my process for paper one. This is because I have put much more time into these first few drafts than I did on paper one. I have learned what I need to do in terms of revision to make my essays the best that I am capable of. I believe that the peer review has helped along with the help of our writing fellow, Sinead. I believe that the peer review for project two was very helpful in terms of revisions that were necessary. On the first paper, I was unable to meet with Sinead. However, I was able to meet with someone else from writing support in the student academic success center. When comparing to paper two, I believe that my process for paper three is very similar. This is because on paper two, I created many drafts the way I am doing now, and I was able to meet with Sinead for project two and three. I plan on meeting with Sinead one more time if possible before the due date of project three. I met with Sinead for a second time before the due date of project two, and I felt that it was very helpful in terms of making final adjustments on my project.
Journal 21
Peer review for Project 3 can be found in the peer review folder.
Tanner McDougal
Journal 22
After pushing my essay to 1500 words, I made quite a few of revisions in different areas of my essay. The first major revision was my conclusion. For quite a while, I was very confused on what to do regarding closing out my essay. I had a difficult time with this because I was still making sure that I had covered everything that I wanted to in the body paragraphs of my essay. When I made my conclusion, I tried to focus on closing out my essay. This is because I received feedback from Professor Miller after project two about how I did not effectively conclude my thoughts from my essay. After, I revised my thesis yet again. I did this for two reasons. The first reason is that I do not think that it really matched what the assignment says, and I also needed my thesis to make sense with my conclusion. After I finished the conclusion, I was able to re-work my thesis so that my final thoughts really strengthened what my initial claim was.
